Iruka's Trip to The Zoo
by mc.hearts.ak
Summary: Iruka's day off, he goes to the zoo, he thinks he can talk to animals...but what is he really saying? oneshot R&R plz...


**Disclaimer- yea, I do NOT own Naruto**

Chapter 2- Iruka's Trip to the Zoo 

Iruka sighed when he glanced at his calendar. It was his first day off in almost three months. (He could have more, but our boy is a workaholic and has no social life, really.) What to do? Naruto and his posse were on a mission thing; and everyone else? Eh, he really didn't want to bug anybody. He was the only one off anyway. So...what can a guy do on his day off? Iruka shrugged and started to get dressed. Maybe if he took a walk something'll hit him in the face and he'll figure out what to do.

As he started to walk about the village, looking around with his hands in his pockets and a lollipop in his mouth, he noticed that the Zoo wasn't too crowded today.

"Hmm, maybe a day at the Zoo would be nice...?" he asked aloud tilting his head a little. He shrugged and walked in to the ticket booth.

"Hiya! And welcome to the Konoha Hidden Leaf Village Zoo! Where even the animals seem like ninjas! Will it just be you today sir?" the lady in the booth asked.

"Um, ok...Yes, yes ma'am. Just me." Iruka said feeling a little silly.

"Ok! One adult ticket that'll be...10 dollars please! Thank you! Enjoy!"

After Iruka got his ticket and everything he started to look around. The first exhibit he noticed was the dolphins. They were always cute. Iruka walked over and leaned over the rail to see the dolphins playing and splashing about.

"How...cute?" Iruka asked himself. Was he allowed to call a animal cute?

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACK."

_Translation: HEY! I AM NOT CUTE! _

"Huh?" Iruka looked for the source of the sound and saw one of the dolphins were looking at him.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACKACK!"

_Translation: YEAH I'M TALKIN' TO YOU! _

"Um, eeeeackeee?" Iruka asked feeling very, _very _harebrained.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACKACKACK!"

_Translation: WHAT JU SAY BOUT MY MAMA!_

Iruka laughed, and pondered for a moment. Could he talk to animals? Well, he couldn't really understand what the dolphin was 'eeeeeack'ing about, but the dolphin seemed to understand him. So, maybe if he concentrated hard enough he could understand it.

"Um, eeeeeackackackeeeeack!" He was trying to say 'how are you,' but he said something a wee bit less pleasant. And this made Mr. Dolphin very mad.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACCAKCKAKAKCKACACKACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

_Translation: WHAT! I WILL GO TO YOUR HOUSE, AND CUT YOU!_

"Wow! I understood that! I'm just fine Mr. Dolphin! I'll see you later! Oh, eeeeeeackeeeeack!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACKACKACKACKEEEEEEEEEEE!"

_Translation: HEY! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! _

Iruka had a big smile on his face as he started to walk away from the dolphin's exhibit. The next one he noticed was the fox exhibit. He grinned, thinking the little foxies reminded him of Naruto and suddenly wished he could be around to hear him speak to them.

"Hi! Um, how do foxes talk?" he asked one of the closest little foxes.

"Whinewhinewhineyelp?"

_Translation: Wtf? what's up with this weirdo?_

"Oh! Thank you! Whinewhineyelpyelpwhine." (yea, you don't wanna know what he's saying)

"YELPYELPWHINE!"

_Translation: OMG! WHAT! EWW!_

The little fox twitched and looked at Iruka like he was a lunatic.

Iruka, just smiled and waved to the little fox, "Bye bye! Whineyelpyelpwhine!"

"whinewhinewhineyelpyelpyelp.WHINE!"

_Translation: I have just been scarred for life. MOM!_

Iruka chuckled a little to himself as he continued to walk around the Zoo. Ah, so maybe the Zoo was the best choice after all. Now, what other animals can he talk to? Or better yet, piss off, or disturb. As he walked he noticed a little black rooster cross his path. He stared at for a little bit and so did the rooster. After a few seconds the rooster puffed up.

"COCKADOODOODOOCO!"

_Translation: WHAT? YOU WANNA START SUMTHIN'? _

"Oh! Cool! Cockadoo?"

"COCKADOOLE!COCOCOCOCKADOO?"

_Translation: WHAT, OH MY GOD! HOW DID YOU KNOW?_

The rooster started to flip out and run around in circles and then just took off. Most likely to go commit suicide. Poor rooster.

"Hmph, all I told him was that he had very nice feathers...oh well." Iruka smiled and continued to walk around. Something very bright and pink caught his eye and he turned to see the Flamingo exhibit.

"Oh look! Flamingos!" Iruka smiled widely and walked over. All the flamingo's were just standing lazily about eating and drinking. Then one looked at Iruka and made a comment to his buddy beside him.

"Squawk.Sguaw."

_Translation: Check out the loser._

Iruka perked up when he heard the flamingo, "Yay! uh, Squawk! Squaw, sggg, uaw!" again, Iruka was just trying to be friendly.

"SQUAWK! UAW!UAW! SGGG!SGEEEWAK!"

_Translation: HEY JUST CUZ WE'RE PINK DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T KICK YOUR ASS!_

"Hehehe. Bye!" Iruka smiled. Well, this has been lots of fun so far, plus all the animals were so friendly. He glanced at his watch, wow, he had already been here for almost two hours. He yawned. Maybe just two more exhibits and then he'd go to the noodle bar for lunch and then go take a nap at home. He looked around a bit and noticed something going psycho in the raccoon exhibit.

"Hami?" he walked over and noticed there was glass separating him and the animal's inside, when all the other ones were where he was just high up. Now, what was it he saw? He tippy-toed and looked around when out of nowhere a rabid raccoon hit the glass and started to claw at it madly. Iruka jumped back eyes very wide and very scared.

"Wtf...?"

"Oh, don't worry she's just in heat."

Iruka jumped and turned around to see a squinty-eyed zoo keeper smiling behind him.

"Man, I feel sorry for the male." Iruka remarked.

"Nah, the males are just as frenzied, only they tend to run around in circles." he said nodding.

"Whoa." Iruka didn't really wanna try and talk to those crazy things so he backed away very slowly and went to the big map thingy in the middle to find out what last exhibit he wanted to see before he left. He looked about and then saw that there was a reptile house. 'Looks interesting...' he thought and started to head towards the reptile house.

When he entered the house he looked about and noticed a very big anaconda with half of a large rabbit in his mouth, and was slowly drawing it into his mouth. Iruka shuddered. Poor bunny. He looked around and saw all the hot tempered lizards hiss and spit at him.

"Wow, their not too friendly..." Iruka commented as he walked through the barely lit place, full of large snakes. And poisonous lizards...

"HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHI?"

_Translation: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HIT LISTS YOU'RE ON?_

"Hmm?" Iruka turned to see a big albino python looking at him from her perch on her artificial tree.

"YAY! A friendly serpent! HISSISHIISSSSSHI." he said clapping his hands a little.

"HISSIHISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHI!"

_Translation: NO WONDER, YOU SICKO! I WILL EAT YOU!_

"Bye bye!" Iruka all but skipped out of the reptile house with a big fat smile on his face. He walked to the exit and waved to the ticket lady. And went to enjoy the rest of his day.

BUT. That day at the Zoo, Iruka became the number one hit on ZOO ANIMAL HIT list. He was a dead man, who was just trying to be friendly...he also made a lot of pigeon's offended on his way home too. So their probably gonna poop on him on purpose...poor Iruka. He so simple.

**Nano1: Yay! I did it! I did the next chapter already! Woot! Hehehe, yeah I think all the zoo animals have a hit list. I wouldn't really blame them. Poor Iruka, he's just trying to be nice. Yeah, so i hope you enjoyed reading this little, actually pretty long thing. Next is Kakashi's overload of Disney movies! YAY! R&R please! PEACE.**


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